a dream woke me up
returning from a journey
returning from out there
back to the silken waters
of civilization
I could feel myself slipping
back in
past the guards
over the fence
and into the canals
flowing out of the dream
and into consciousness
and at first
my heart ratcheted
unwelcome memories
of being human
the sad single room
I had chosen for myself
in my final year of college
back to my loneliness
back to emotions
and thoughts distilled
into bouts of insanity
and terrifying creativity
remembering
the artist I ran away from
and then past
the little apartment in Rockland
where I came back to myself
surviving loneliness
that swallowed me
and spit me out again
like my dream
my consciousness moved through
both
drawn out by the words
“the silken waters”
and the hope of capturing
the transition
between dream and volition
in a poem
I slipped out of bed
took glasses and notepad
into the guest room
and settled into writing
remembering all of this
before once more
disappearing