it’s too too soon I know I can just sit down by the wall
it’s hard to lose yourself but it’s possible
I’m moving slowly feeling my face with my hands and my arms and my chest
it’s way too soon
it was good to hug people for real instead of doing the heart thing next best was hearing each other on the phone and crying hard together
the moving was some kind of swaying when I dance my eyes always want to be closed so I try to move in place or move by feeling and peeking
I don’t know how but I don’t bump into people
when I dance I don’t want to open my eyes I don’t want to see I only want to feel the people I know I want to see their eyes it’s too soon
he’s teasing me
first the baseball cap then a glimpse of an eyebrow and no more
then a friend who knows him comes over to hug me
tonight chaos is not for me I see it too clearly nor any of the music to make you feel better
I already do
another glimpse like he’s in another dimension which I’m too dense to see
in the circle my wife is sweating and crying the chaos worked for her I’m not connected she is
I’m selfish I just wanted to see him again