it’s too too soon
I know I can just sit down by the wall
it’s hard to lose yourself
but it’s possible
I’m moving slowly feeling my face with my hands
and my arms and my chest
it’s way too soon
it was good to hug people for real
instead of doing the heart thing
next best was hearing each other on the phone
and crying hard together
the moving was some kind of swaying
when I dance my eyes always want to be closed
so I try to move in place
or move by feeling
and peeking
I don’t know how but I don’t bump into people
when I dance I don’t want to open my eyes
I don’t want to see I only want to feel
the people I know I want to see their eyes
it’s too soon
he’s teasing me
first the baseball cap
then a glimpse of an eyebrow
and no more
then a friend who knows him
comes over to hug me
tonight chaos is not for me
I see it too clearly
nor any of the music to make you feel better
I already do
another glimpse
like he’s in another dimension
which I’m too dense to see
in the circle my wife is sweating and crying
the chaos worked for her
I’m not connected
she is
I’m selfish
I just wanted to see him again