An Irishman Named Pat McKee, One night in drunken revelry, With smell of liquor on his breath Fell from a barstool to his death.
The undertaker took Pat in, Embalmed him with his favorite gin, And to permit his au revoir, He laid Pat out in Kelly’s Bar.
And as the lads filed in that night, They were a glum and mournful sight, You would have thought they’d been coerced To travel there to quench their thirst.
So as each sad eyed drinking chum, While at the bar was overcome, Between his drinks he interjects His most profound and last respects.
And then a swaying drunken lout Held up a brimming glass of stout And offered up a heartfelt toast To their deceased and pickled host.
And as each single drinking cup Was seen to have its bottom up, Some rum soaked crony said he’d think That Pat McKee should have a drink.
They all agreed that they’d invest Their money in the very best, So they pulled down his dimpled chin And poured some Irish whiskey in.
And they could not believe their eyes When Patrick’s corpse began to rise. It looked around and scratched its head, And then with shaking voice it said,
“Just pass me, please, a pint of bitters That I might shake off these jitters. I need a bracer, for I think It’s been two days since my last drink.”
So then it seemed the ice was broken Once those few words had been spoken, And that night took new direction With old Patrick’s resurrection.
They knew that Pat came from good stock, But this performance was a shock. Though he would only suffer through A single day of three-day flu,
And never suffered broken bones, Nor had backaches or kidney stones, I don’t recall it being said He’d ever come back from the dead.
And there had never been a crowd Who drank so hard or sang so loud As those good lads from near and far Who came that night to Kelly’s Bar.
Old Kelly wondered what he’d do When that nightmarish wake was through, For they’d be coming through his gate To bury Pat at half past eight.
But when the morning rolled around, The lads, all passed out, could be found, And Patrick was back in his place; A pleasant smile upon his face.