and now I’m feeling frustrated and angry
anyone who has lost a child
anyone who has lost the person in their family
who understood them best
anyone who has lost a good friend
someone they could always count on
anyone who has lost such beings from their lives
is angry at themselves
angry for being selfish in their grief
angry for not spending more time with them
angry for not being able to save them
angry for not being able to see and be there
at exactly the right time
or angry for not being able to make a bargain
with a God they can’t find
and replace them in a them-for-me trade
and now my anger makes me even sadder
makes me understand how inadequate I am
in this fundamental task
of sorrow