it’s 3 a.m. I wake up from a dream I don’t remember painfully not remembering was it you? I miss you I feel that
were you there in the dream I can’t remember I try to reach back into the dream it’s like fog thick as a stone wall perfection this dream I want to go back in to to find you in perfection I can no longer have
I can’t remember but I remember you each of you
it’s like yesterday when I first knew you were gone and only living here inside
will I find you when I’m gone too? or will you have moved on from there too?
or will my death be like the dream I can’t remember only a thick fog roiling there like a massive stone wall of blankness?
loss loss loss loss I wonder how I can still breathe when you can’t
it would be better if you were here and I wasn’t you take this harder job of living for awhile
my heart aches I press my hand down on it it recognizes me and calms but it still goes on aching and it goes on beating my faithful faithful heart
for now